NASCAR: What a Wide-Eyed Beast You Be, Just Don't Blink, You Could Miss It

On average we blink once every five seconds, 732 times an hour, 17,000 times each day, which adds up to an amazing 6.25 million times a year.

The blink of the human eye is about 0.33 seconds.

It is so apart of our lives, that rarely do we even think about it, but I am willing to bet that the 140,000 + sets of eyes in the grandstands of Talladega this past Sunday, and countless others glued to their televisions at home, made a conscious effort not to blink as Kevin Harvick made his now famous slingshot maneuver around Jamie McMurray to take the checkered flag.

Harvick beat McMurray by just 0.11 seconds.

While that win is most certainly one for the record books, look back to Darlington, Mar. 16, 2003 for the closest finish in NASCAR history, when Ricky Craven beat Kurt Busch by a mere .002 seconds.

The two drivers actually finished the last stretch of the race with their cars touching.

In NASCAR, a hundredth of a second can win a race.

With Richmond coming up this weekend, we are reminded that in Sep. of 2003, at that very track, 0.387 seconds marked the difference between the first and 36th positions.

Talk about your grid-locked traffic!

One of the reasons Danica Patrick says she is giving NASCAR a try is because of how much tighter the racing is.

Look at the stats. Can you blame her?

NASCAR’s average margin of victory in 2009 was 2.0 seconds, the IRL’s margin of victory was 3.58 seconds.

Yawn!

In 2003, Ryan Newman made history at Bristol Motor Speedway, with a Sprint Cup Series quaifying lap of 14.908 seconds (128.709 mph).

A simple 2.5 blinks of an eye.

Think of how upset we as fans get when we miss something on the track because of a routine blink or being distracted by your buddy knocking over your last can of hooch.

Get a piece of debris in your eye and you could easily miss several laps!

It is instinctual for humans to close their eyes tightly when we anticipate something displeasing.

Think of it in terms of watching a horror movie. That scary music cues up and you just know that something wicked is coming!

Your eyes squint, your hand is waiting in the wings to make the quick cover. You want to turn away, but you can't, because you might miss something.

Just like NASCAR, don't ever take your eyes off the screen or you are bound to miss something good!

Take a minute to appreciate the real eyes of the track, the spotters. They get paid NOT to blink!

Each week when a driver climbs into his car, he is fitted with his helmet and HANS device; then strapped into the driver's seat, which leaves him with a very limited view of the track.

It is up to a very trusted member of the driver’s team to “see” for them. Spotters must have a keen eye focused on their driver, but one that constantly roves the field, looking for the future “what ifs.”

The spotter can make or break a driver’s position, prevent or find themselves in the middle of the “big one” and ultimately win or lose a race.

The stress doesn't end with the checkered flag. Most spotters can't sleep after a big race. Their eyes are sore for days, worn out from hours of staring through binoculars and not blinking.

The idea of being at a NASCAR race in itself is somewhat surreal. It is a fantastic, almost dream like state, because what we are witnessing on the track is somewhat impalpable.

Categorically, it is unlike any other event.

It is fast and furious. It is danger and intrigue. It is beauty and perfection.

It is intangible, wide eyed glory, just don't blink!



"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Article originally published 04/26/2010

Heard It Through the Grapevine, Tony Stewart Wants to Meet You In Texas

Everybody knows that everything is bigger and bolder in Texas, so who better to host an appearance than larger-than-life personality Tony Stewart?

The driver of the No. 14 Office Depot/Old Spice Chevrolet will roll into Grapevine, Texas at 4:00 pm on Wednesday, April 14 to sign autographs for fans at the local Office Depot.

Want a chance to meet him and help celebrate his 400th career start in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series? Here's how!

Where: Office Depot, 1317 State Highway 114 West, Grapevine, TX, 76051

When: Wednesday, April 14, 2010, 4 pm local time

Why: Because you want to meet your favorite driver, that's why!

The No. 14 Office Depot will be on site for photo-ops and fans can try their hand at being Stewart for a day by taking a simulated spin around the track in the No. 14 race car simulator.

Please note that while this event will be open to the general public, only 700 wristbands will be distributed for autographs (one per person).

The wristbands may be obtained on a first-come, first-serve basis at the store beginning at 8:00 am local time.

Fans with a wristband must be in line no later than 5:00 pm to receive an autograph.

Saddle up early folks and get on down to the Office Depot before the stampede and wrangle yourself a visit with a real modern day cowboy.

This is a one day opportunity, so giddy up y'all and strike while the iron is hot.

Don't let Tony Stewart drive off into the sunset without showing him some genuine Texas hospitality!



Press release courtesy of MATTER/Edelman Sports and Entertainment and Office Depot.

Article originally published 04/13/2010

NASCAR's Tony Stewart and Ryan Newman: A Fine Bromance

In a tender moment following Ryan Newman’s victory at Phoenix on Saturday night, his first for Stewart-Haas Racing, owner and teammate Tony Stewart not only rushed to congratulate Newman, he professed his love on national television.

Newman was filled with emotion as he revealed the words exchanged between the two men, stating, “He’s so proud of me, told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back.”

Had it been a movie, this would have been the perfect ending to the ultimate buddy flick.

What we saw Saturday night was far more than respect between teammates, or the mentoring of a boss to protege.

Oh yes, something so much sweeter than any of that.

We were witness to the most intimate of male bonding, the start of a bona fide bromance!

Now before you go getting the wrong idea, a bromance is described as "a close, but non-sexual relationship between two heterosexual men."

A mutual man-crush if you will.

The idea of the bromance has been embraced in Hollywood for years.

Take Matt Damon and Ben Affleck for example, although they are both married to beautiful women, their relationship with each other is often described as "perhaps the pioneering bromance in showbiz history."

Geroge Clooney and Brad Pitt are another bromantic success story. Clooney admits to "being unlucky in love with the ladies," yet has "maintained his longest lasting affair" with bromantic partner Pitt."

Actors and close friends in real life, Zach Braff and Donald Faison play JD and Turk, two straight, male doctors of the TV show Scrubs. The character's mutual admiration for one another elicited a song explaining their "guy love" to a world that didn't quite understand.

"That's all it is guy love, he's mine I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes. Just let it grow more and more each day. It's like I've married my best friend... but totally in a manly way."

"It's guy love, between two guys. And when I say, "I love you, Turk,", It's not what it implies. It's guy love between two guys... no hands!"

Bromance is so in fashion, last year men dragged their best guy friend forever to the release of the preeminent male bonding movie, “I Love You, Man.”

The film, starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel, begged the question “Are you man enough to say it?”

Stewart and Newman proved Saturday night that they were men enough to say it in front of millions of adoring fans.

Heck, if guy-loving each other is wrong, they don't want to be right!

It's time to celebrate this budding bromance and see them as the serious power couple that they are. One that holds the promise of a long, prosperous future filled with championships and nothing but love!

I love you men!

Article originally published 04/12/2010

Join NASCAR's Tony Stewart and Office Depot in the Race to Beat Cancer

Cancer.

It is something that we hate to acknowledge, but yet it affects every one of us.

It knows no age, race, gender, or personality.

It doesn’t care if you are a good person or bad.

It won’t listen to your pleas to spare your family, friends, or even yourself from its evil clutches.

It hates our mothers, our fathers, sisters, brothers, our grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews.

It hates our friends.

It hates innocent children.

It hates you and it hates me.

Cancer hates us all equally, but equally we can make a difference for a cure.

Together we can beat it.

Office Depot and Tony Stewart have teamed up for 'The Race to Beat Cancer', but they can’t do it alone.
“NASCAR champion Tony Stewart would be the first to tell you: The final laps of a championship race are no time to hit the brakes. You need to move faster and work harder than ever. The fight against cancer is just the same: When lives are at stake, we must work with urgency and determination. There is no time to lose.”

Now through April 11, the Office Depot Foundation will match every donation made to City of Hope —one of the nation’s leading cancer research and treatment centers—dollar-for-dollar up to $100,000.

During this time, your donation to City of Hope, in conjunction with a generous matching grant from the Office Depot Foundation , will make your cancer-beating gift to City of Hope TWO TIMES as effective.

City of Hope’s primary mission is to close the gap between breakthrough research and effective, new treatment, and to do it more quickly, more aggressively, and more safely than anyone has before.

“When you give to City of Hope, you support one of the most advanced cancer hospitals in the nation; you advance the ideas of some of the top cancer researchers in the world; you build modern facilities equipped with the most sophisticated technologies available; you bring inspiration to our researchers and physicians; and you provide compassion, comfort and hope to patients here and everywhere.”

By combining a hospital with exceptional patient care and a state of the art on-site research facility along with a century-long history of integrating great science with compassionate, it is clear that City of Hope stands apart from other institutions.

So let cancer know that you’re not going to slow down! Team up with Tony Stewart in the race to beat cancer.

We’ve sadly witnessed too many of our loved ones succumb to this horrible disease, but now is the time for tears of joy when we hear one of the most beautiful words in the English language...remission.

So, please join NASCAR fans from all over the country and help to stop this horrible disease by donating whatever you can to this monumental cause.

I have...will you?

To learn more about this and other live saving efforts, please visit www.cityofhope.org

All quotes were graciously shared by Edelman, City of Hope, The Office Depot Foundation and Mr. Stewart himself.

Article originally published 04/02/2010

When NASCAR Fans Attack: A Crime That Shames Us All

I had heard of this growing phenomenon, but thought it was just silly folklore.

Seriously, what NASCAR fan verbally attacks another for no good reason?

OK, I’m not that naïve, I’ve received a few ugly comments in articles that I have written and while I am quite sure the world revolves around me, I do understand that not everyone is going to see it that way.

That’s too bad really, if everyone did see things through my eyes what a wonderful world it would be, but that is a story for another day...back to the matter at hand.

There I was innocently relaxing on a Sunday night after I’d been out all day feeding the homeless, rescuing baby kittens, and fighting crime.

I had just cooked a seven-course meal from scratch, wallpapered the master bedroom, and put a load of laundry in when it happened. For the record, I was washing colors. I know this because Sunday is the day that I Woolite my Superhero cape and tights.

I generally unwind by answering my fan mail during the evening hours, so when I saw “Tony Stewart Article 09/04/2008,” in the subject line, naturally I clicked on it.

To my surprise, the content was a little saltier than I was accustomed to and the tone, downright livid!

What were these colorful new words that I was reading? They hurt my eyes.

After scanning the profanity-laced e-mail, I quickly realized that most of it is not fit to print, but I was able to pick out a few tidbits that I’d like to share.

“I just read your article on Tony Stewart and just realized that you didn’t have one good thing to say about him."

Not so, I simply quoted Stewart from a Rolling Stone article that he was interviewed for. Then again I did mention that he needed a good scrubbing and a shot of penicillin. That is just the caregiver in me coming out, I'm here to help.

“ He happens to be one of the greatest philanthropists of our time, but you couldn’t write about that, could you?”

Not in that context, no…but I have .

“No, you don’t like him because, oh, I don’t know, did he reject your advances?”

No, have not had the opportunity to throw myself at him just yet.

"Refused to be interviewed by you?"

How could I possibly find the time to interview him, I’d be too busy advancing my advances!

“Or the obvious, found you to be an ugly media whore?”

Bingo!

“By the way, what is that thing on your head in your (profile) picture?”

A live bear cub, duh!

“You should use it to cover up your face as it is likely more people have seen better looking faces on iodine bottles.”

This question was so good it elicited a two part response!

A. I do use it for that purpose all the time, have you ever seen me after a 12-hour ER night shift? Two words…Hot Mess!

B. Nice zinger! I’m going to remember that for the next time I need to insult someone. Had it not been me you were talking about I would have LOLed! Who am I kidding, I still did, that was a good one!

“More people like him (Stewart) than like you and more woman find him more attractive than any man or woman would ever find you!”

I am not arguing this point at all! Stewart is more famous than me and in fact prettier, so naturally people like him more! It is the ugly truth that I face every race day, if only I could get my beard to grow in like his. I’d be so much better off.

I'm justified in the fact that I know, I’m pretty on the inside and that is what really counts, right?…At least that is what my mother tells me.

"Bleep, Bleepity, Bleep, Bleep...BITCH!"

Um yeah, you say that like it's a bad thing.

While it started off as an innocent drive by, I am not too proud to admit that I grabbed my gat and shot back my own chromatic defense.

I stubbornly dug my heels in and fought to the dirty end.

Like a couple of children we lobbed insults back and forth to one another for the better part of an hour, until it became evidently clear that we were fighting for the same thing, being a fan of "our driver."

Mind you, we were not fans of rival drivers, arguing a case as to why one was better than the other. We were fans of the same driver and still managed to find something to squabble about!

What is it about being a fan of something that sparks our passion even when there is a common bond of it being the same something?

To understand it, we must define the word "fan."

A condensed version of the word “fanatic,” a person with an extreme enthusiasm or zeal. One who goes to great lengths in action, habit, opinion, etc. exceeding the bounds of moderation.

As humans, we thrive on competition. We take pleasure in the emotional highs and lows that we have invested in our sport. Psychologically, this is the very thing that stimulates the pleasure and reward part of the brain.

Psycho-socially we live vicariously through our driver, not only behind the wheel but also in their lifestyle. We often fantasize what it would be like to be them or at the very least be with them.

Like a proud lioness, we protect out driver as if he was a precious cub. God help those who attempt to bring harm to our pride, you're gonna get mauled.

Like the mighty lion, we instinctively fight off our foes. Hyenas like Kyle Busch or the jackal in sheep's clothing, Jimmie Johnson.

At times the lion proves to be his own worst enemy and attacks its own. An unfortunate downside to being the king of the jungle.

The same can be said about NASCAR fans, the only thing worse than going head-to-head with another fanatic, would be to run out to pit road and mark "your" territory by spraying everything down with urine.

The beauty of NASCAR drivers is that each of them willingly provides free love to anyone who wants it with no strings attached.

Every Sunday they hand out a million little pieces to every one of us, while at the same time allowing us to feel like we are the only one.

It is a rude awakening for some to realize that your man has been two-timing you with countless others. You knew it all along, but never wanted to fully accept the fact.

With eyes wide open we maliciously lash out, thinking he who roars the loudest will determine who the biggest fan is.

But as track seating proves, there is room for us all.

So to all the other Stewart fans out there, don't pick fights with me, we are all in this together. Save your energy for what matters most...booing Kurt Busch during driver introductions.

Article originally published 03/25/2010

Brad Keselowski "Won't Back Down" and Other Telling Tunes From Bristol

In the song "Sympathy For The Devil," The Rolling Stones sang,

"Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste."

Well, 43 tasty men take the track this weekend, and by now, most fans are probably familiar with the entrance songs that their favorite driver will be introduced to during Sunday's pre-race in Bristol.

The songs, handpicked by the drivers, give us a glimpse into each individual personality and provide a soundtrack for what we can expect on the track.

We recognize the hard driving beats that will no doubt pump up the crowd and the choruses that we can sing along to with ease.

It's the "hook" that sucks us in, the catchy part of the song that more than likely the drivers will use as they make their way across the stage. But look a little deeper into the lyrics and we just may find a hidden meaning.

Listen a little closer and one can't help but to wonder if the real reason for a driver's choosing of a particular song lies not in the title, but in the content.

I've highlighted this week's Top 12 and included a few other notable selections for this weekend's race.

Humor me a little and enjoy!

*Please note, some of the musical content is mature in nature.

Kevin Harvick - "Rollin'" / Limp Bizkit

Those familiar with the song know the chorus quite well...

"Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'"

Catchy yes, but what is the real reason behind Harvick's choice of song?

Read between the lines and you will find a verse fitting for Harvick's "Them's fighting words" attitude!

"So where the f*ck you at punk?
Shut the f*ck up
And back the f*ck up
Before we f*ck this track up"

Matt Kenseth - "Whiskey Hangover" / Godsmack

"I'll waste my time whenever I like
I'm feeling ok with my whiskey hangover"

I'm betting the only reason that Kenseth chose this song was thanks in part to his Crown Royal sponsorship. I just can't imagine that Kenseth has ever had a hangover in his life.

On the other hand, these lyrics could be saying something to his fellow competitors:

"So what you cleaned your act up so far
so what if I'm pissing into the wind (again)?
Have you ever thought that I'm not who you are? (baby)
cause even when I lose I know how to win again and again
So sick of you preaching all the time
Just keep your sh*tty advice inside"

Greg Biffle - "Welcome To The Jungle" / Guns N' Roses

"Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed"

I don't think that The Biff really wants to see anyone bleed, unless of course you are giving a blood donation to his sponsor, The American Red Cross.

Mild-mannered Biffle knows how to put up a good fight at Bristol—just ask Kevin Harvick, he's an animal!

"Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here every day
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me"

Jimmie Johnson - "Ramble On" / Led Zeppelin

"Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams"

Great song, cool guitar licks, hard driving chorus—but I am hard pressed to find any meaning to the lyrics.

No real rhyme or reason as to why Johnson chose this, other than the fact that he likes it—unless you twist it around in your mind like I have. It could serve as a precursor that even though Johnson has enjoyed his last four championships, he won't be taking home the trophy again this year.

"Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do..."

Clint Bowyer - "Burning Love" / Elvis Presley

"I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love"

With his choice, perhaps Bowyer is revealing a hint of narcissism. He is all that with a bag of chips, and he is not afraid to admit it.

Temperatures do get hot in those cars on race day, hopefully the smoke that he is referring to has nothing to do with a blown engine!

"Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, I'm flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just might turn into smoke
But I feel fine"

Jeff Burton - "Welcome To The Jungle" / Guns N' Roses

Burton chose the same song as Biffle this year, but who has bragging rights? In the end, do we really care which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Burton went with the same song last August, it worked to his advantage then, so why fix it if it ain't broke.

Last fall he finished 19 points higher than where he started.

Biffle's choice last year? "Boom" by POD.

Mark Martin - To Be Announced

Martin narrowed the field to three songs from his very eclectic collection and let the fans have the final say by voting on their favorite.

-"If You Want Blood" by AC/DC
-"Luv 4 Dem Gangstaz" by Eazy-E
-"Where Are We Running" by Lenny Kravitz

"I was having a hard time deciding between a few songs. I wanted something that the fans would like; that they would have fun hearing. But I wanted it to be 'me,' too, ya know? A song that I like and get pumped up to. I know what the winner is, and I'm happy with it. It could've been any of those three, and I would have been happy. Just hope all the fans in the stands like it, too," said Martin.

What does Martin's crew chief, Alan Gustafson, think of his drivers musical taste?

"Mark continuously cracks me up with his taste in music. Eazy-E? Who would have picked Mark Martin to like Eazy-E? That's some old-school rap right there. When I saw his three choices for his intro song, I just laughed because none of them are anything that a race fan would think Mark would like. But it's just him. I'll be anxious to hear what song the fans picked for him. I probably won't know until intros either, so I'll be just as surprised as everyone else."

Tune in for the pre-race ceremonies to find out which song fans chose to represent Martin.

Tony Stewart - "Bawitdaba" / Kid Rock

"Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy."

The chorus is an adaptation from the 80's rap song "Live at the Fever" by Love Bug Starski.

What the heck does it mean though? Who cares, people love it!

Stewart used the same song last year during the night race in Bristol and chose not to go with the obvious. Instead he specifically asked that the song start with the lyric, "Now get in the pit and try to love someone."

Exactly the verse that I would have chosen for Stewart. Maybe I am not so far off of these meanings after all!

Paul Menard - "Paradise City" / Guns N' Roses

"Take me down
To the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Oh, won't you please take me home"

I'm beginning to see a common thread here, NASCAR drivers love Guns N' Roses!

Racing at Bristol is just about as far away from Paradise City as you can get! It's a rough and tumble, hard driving, door-to-door beat down. If you wanna play the game, then you gotta do the time.

"Rags to riches or so they say
You got to—keep pushing for the fortune and fame you know
It's all a gamble when it's just a game
You treat it like a capital crime
Everybody's doing their time"

Kurt Busch - "Dukes of Hazard" theme / Waylon Jennings

"Just the good ol' boys,
Never meanin' no harm,
Beats all you've ever saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born"

This song sums up Kurt and sidekick, brother Kyle pretty well. The "Dukes" always being harassed by that mean ol' Boss Hogg and his cronies.

The law in this tale goes by the name NASCAR and the ones that love to hate anything Busch.

"Makin' their way,
The only way they know how,
That's just a little bit more than the law will allow"


Jeff Gordon - "Boom Boom Pow" / Black Eyed Peas

"Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom"

And you thought "Bawitdaba" was bad...

Seems a pretty good choice for Gordon as he is NASCAR's mainstream version of what the Black Eyed Peas are to the music world.

Gordon's got a good beat and I can dance to it!

I think that this was part of the heated exchange that he had with Kenseth on pit road a couple years back after their on track altercation.

"I like that boom boom pow
Them chickens jackin' my style
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next sh*t now"

Scott Speed - "Love Shack" / The B-52's

"Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love baby, that's where it's at"

Who doesn't love this song? It is perfect for Speed's quirky style.

The mighty Bristol may be small in size, but somehow they manage to squeeze 160,000 people in there shoulder-to-shoulder, making it the ultimate "Love Shack."

"Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin',
wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies!
The whole shack shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around and around!
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Folks linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby
Funky little shack! Funk-y little shack!"

Brad Keselowski - "Won't Back Down" / Tom Petty

"(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(and I won't back down...)
hey I will stand my ground
and I won't back down"

This choice has obviously ruffled a few feathers in the NASCAR world. Keselowski has made it clear, and not just through song, that "he doesn’t plan on changing how he races and doesn’t feel that he has been overly aggressive in the majority of the on-track incidents he has been blamed for."

That kind of attitude is going to warrant another "Bam-BA-Lam" from Edwards whose choice of tunes was "Black Betty" by Spiderbait.

"Well I know what's right, I got just one life
in a world that keeps on pushin' me around
but I'll stand my ground
...and I won't back down."

Kyle Busch - "Amazing" / Kanye West

"It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin', so amazin', so amazin', so amazin'
It's amazin'
(Let's go)"

Busch could care less at this point in the season that he is sitting outside the Chase, you wouldn't guess it by his song choice.

Ain't no one ever gonna convince him that he is anything but amazing. He knows it, he shows it, and it is up to the rest of us to decide just want to do with all that ego.

Good or bad, Kyle Busch can fire up a crowd like nobody's business!

"It's amazing, I'm the reason
Everybody fired up this evening
I'm exhausted, barely breathing
Holding on to what I believe in
No matter what, you'll never take that from me
My reign is as far as your eyes can see"

Kevin Conway - "Big Time" / Peter Gabriel

"Big Time, I'm on my way I'm making it, big time, oh yes
Big time, I've got to make it show yeah, big time
Big time, so much larger than life
Big time, I'm gonna watch it growing, big time"

The serious side to me recognizes that as a rookie, Conway is on his way to making the "big time," but the ridiculously childish side giggles when I think of those lyrics in conjuction with his sponsor "ExtenZe."

Check out the last line of the song...I rest my case!

"Big time, my car is getting bigger Big time, my house is getting bigger
Big time, my eyes are getting bigger
And my mouuuth
Big time, my dinner's getting bigger
Big time, and my bank account
Big time, look at my circumstance
Big time, and the bulge in my big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big, hi there"

And The Rest....

* AJ Allmendinger: "Last Resort" / Papa Roach
* Aric Almirola: "Back In Black" / AC/DC
* Bobby Labonte: "People Are Crazy" / Billy Currington
* Brad Keselowski: "Won't Back Down" / Tom Petty
* Brian Vickers: "Whatever Happened" / OAR
* Carl Edwards: "Black Betty" / Spiderbait
* Casey Mears: "Wild Side" / Motley Crue
* Clint Bowyer: "Burning Love" / Elvis Presley
* Dale Earnhardt Jr: TBA
* Dave Blaney: TBA
* David Gilliland: "I Gotta Feelin" / Black Eyed Peas
* David Ragan: "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" / Charlie Daniels
* David Reutimann: "The Game" / Motorhead
* David Stremme: TBA
* Denny Hamlin: "Gonna Fly Now: Rocky theme
* Elliott Sadler: "2001: A Space Odyssey" theme
* Greg Biffle: "Welcome to the Jungle" / Guns N Roses
* Jamie McMurray: "Let It Rock" / Kevin Rudolph
* Jeff Burton: "Welcome to the Jungle" / Guns N Roses
* Jeff Gordon: "Boom Boom Pow" / Black Eyed Peas
* Jimmie Johnson: "Ramble On" / Led Zeppelin
* Joe Nemechek: "Boot Scootin Boogie" / Brooks and Dunn
* Joey Logano: "Crank Dat" / Soulja Boy
* Juan Pablo Montoya: "Going the Distance" / Cake
* Kasey Kahne: "Bulls On Parade" / Rage Against The Machine
* Kevin Conway: "Big Time" / Peter Gabriel
* Kevin Harvick: "Rollin" / Limp Bizkit
* Kurt Busch: "Dukes of Hazzard" theme
* Kyle Busch: "Amazing" / Kanye West
* Marcos Ambrose: "Thunderstruck" / AC/DC
* Mark Martin: TBA
* Martin Truex Jr.: "Napa Know How" jingle
* Matt Kenseth: "Whisky Hangover" / Godsmack
* Max Papis: "Carmina Burana" / Carl Orff
* Michael Waltrip: "Hillbilly Bone" / Blake Shelton
* Mike Bliss: "Rise Above This" / Seether
* Paul Menard: "Paradise City" / Guns N Roses
* Regan Smith: "Fight For Your Right" / Beastie Boys
* Robby Gordon: "Some Beach" / Blake Shelton
* Ryan Newman: "Hillbilly Rockstar" / Bridgette Tatum
* Sam Hornish Jr.: "Bad Habit" / Offspring
* Scott Speed: "Love Shack" / B-52's
* Terry Cook: TBA
* Tony Stewart: "Bawitdaba" / Kid Rock
* Travis Kvapil: "Kickstart My Heart" / Motley Crue

Article originally published 03/19/2010

NASCAR's Bristol Motor Speedway: Welcome To the Terrordome

This week NASCAR rolls into Bristol, and as history has proven, anything can and will happen.

Short track racing takes skill and patience. It can bring out the best and most exciting racing of the season, but it can also fuel the fire of short tempers and spawn some of NASCAR’s most memorable melees.

With the track's variable banking in the corners and measuring just .533 miles around, NASCAR racing at Bristol is often compared to racing "jetfighters in a gymnasium."

The very fast, door-to-door racing style can bring out the ugly in even the most even-keeled temperaments; just one quick bump on the track can unhinge in the most docile of drivers.

Take for instance the shoving match between Jeff Gordon and Matt Kenseth after the 2006 Food City 500.

On the final lap, Kenseth nudged Gordon to inherit his third place position and sent Gordon's Dupont Chevrolet spinning.

After the checkered flag flew and Kurt Busch made his way to victory lane, a far more entertaining display was taking place on pit road.

Still donning his helmet and HANS device, Gordon exited his car like a bat out of hell and in a moment of anger, shoved Kenseth who was approaching the driver of the No. 24 Chevy with hands outstretched in an effort to apologize for the on-track incident.

NASCAR officials and crew members from both teams rapidly stepped in and separated the pair.

Kenseth took the blame, stating, “It was my fault that I took Jeff out. I didn’t mean to get in the back of him but I did.”

Gordon not only suffered the consequences by finishing a dismal 21st, but was also fined $10,000 for letting his primal instincts shine and was put on probation until Aug. 30, 2006.

One of the best Bristol brawls occurred during the Nationwide Channelelock 250 in March 2002 after Biffle struck Harvick’s Action Diecast Collectables Chevrolet on lap 241, sending him hard into the wall.

As Harvick's demolished racecar came to rest on the frontstretch, the driver made a hard charge towards Biffle’s crew chief Randy Goss to let him know that his driver had another thing coming.

“I’ve always said Greg Biffle was a good guy, but he’s the most impatient thing I’ve ever seen,” Harvick said. “I will be waiting for him when he gets (out of the car).”

During the final laps of the race, Harvick stood perched atop of his pit box waiting for Biffle to roll down pit road.

Moments after Biffle emerged from his car a furious Harvick literally leaped over the barrier and Biffle’s No. 60 Grainger Ford to confront his nemesis.

The drivers entered into a heated exchange that quickly turned into a wild mob of team members, media, and camera crews.

Fans roared with delight as NASCAR officials all but pried the two apart.

Despite being charged a hefty $15,000 fine and being put on probation until Aug. 28, 2006 for his actions, Harvick had the final say.

“My side of the story is pretty apparent—I let Greg Biffle get away with some stuff last year, and he comes and just rams me in the ass, ruins my brand new car,” Harvick said. “I ain’t gonna leave without telling him how I feel. That’s Biffle for ya. Biffle’s an idiot, that’s for sure.”

Perhaps the most notorious of events took place during the 1995’s Goody’s 500 where the on-track terror was lead by the one and only Dale Earnhardt Sr.

The “Intimidator” was involved in not one, but two controversial clashes as well as a handful of notable beating and bangings along the way.

The first saw Earnhardt take out race leader Rusty Wallace by tapping the rear bumper of the Miller Genuine Draft Ford, sending it spinning into the wall.

After the race, a salty Wallace approached Earnhardt and attempted to start an up close and personal “in your face” showdown.

In typical Earnhardt fashion, he downplayed the incident, stood back casually, and simply flashed Wallace his mischievous mustached grin.

An enraged Wallace hurled a plastic water bottle at the driver of the infamous black No. 3 Goodwrench Chevrolet, bouncing it right of the Intimidator’s nose.

The second skirmish involving Earnhardt was an attempt to make a last ditch move on Terry Labonte during the last lap of the race.

Earnhardt, who was running second, got into Labonte's Kellogg's Corn Flakes Chevrolet, attempting to spin him for the lead.

Despite having his cage rattled, Labonte managed to hold onto his position and finish the race in first place, sliding across the finish line sideways, just .10 seconds in front of Earnhardt.

As the checkered flag waved, Labonte then hit the wall head-on, crushing the front end of No. 5, but went to victory lane unharmed and un-intimidated, making it one of the best finishes in Bristol Motor Speedway history.

What will this Sunday's Food City 500 have in store for drivers and their fans? Tune in to find out, but boy I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a Bristol blitz!

Article originally published on 03/17/2010