Holy Cat Fight, NASCAR! Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon Ready To Rumble in Richmond?

As NASCAR heads to Richmond this weekend, fans and media alike are gearing up for what could be part three of the highly publicized Gordon/Johnson showdown.

The generally mild-mannered Hendrick drivers first tussled in Texas two weeks ago when they made contact on lap 240 racing for second place.

Johnson’s car sustained left side damage and sent him to pit road, but in the end found him finishing the race in second place, while Gordon got tangled up in a late wreck with Tony Stewart and would end up finishing a somber 31st.

A disgruntled Gordon voiced his frustration with Johnson over the radio to crew chief Steve Letarte, "Four-time is a little upset. He [expects] to be treated different than everybody else.”

When asked about the incident in a post-race interview, Johnson stated, "He [Gordon] was just on my bumper, pushing me through the center of the turn—I was like, 'Man, I really can't go anywhere if you're there, pushing me; if you'd just get off my a** and let me get control of my car, I can accelerate.'"

“I am pretty disappointed in how he was racing me today, but we will get to the bottom of it and sort it out. [There’s] no need to play it out in the press. We’ll get it taken care of at the shop and during the week and come back to the next race and do it again."

And do it again they did in Talladega.

Prior to the race, both Johnson and Gordon confirmed that “they had put their problems behind them,” but an on track altercation proved otherwise.

On lap 182 Gordon made a hard charge under the No. 48, Johnson moved to block in turn three, forcing the Dupont Chevrolet onto the apron and essentially stifling Gordon’s momentum.

Shortly thereafter Gordon was caught in a multicar accident, finishing the race in the 22nd position and voiced his displeasure once again for his teammate’s on track antics.

“The 48 [Johnson] is testing my patience, I can tell you that. “It takes a lot to make me mad, and I’m pissed right now. When a car is going that much faster…I don’t know what it is with me and him right now—but whatever.”

Johnson, who finished 31st after his own late-race wreck ceremoniously took the blame. “I misjudged the closing rate, we all make mistakes, I am no different," said Johnson. "Certainly, that was my fault. I made the mistake there."

As the race week transitions from the high speeds of the super speedway to the down and dirty short track rebellion, all eyes will be focused on the two HMS drivers, wondering just what will happen next?

Will the hatchet be officially buried or will the intensity of the short track racing add fuel to the fire?

While both drivers are filled with passion and strong words, what I'd really like to see is a real knock-down, drag out, hair raising cat fight! I really don't condone violence, but it sure would be fun to watch.

Sadly, an argument between Johnson and Gordon feels just about as threatening as an "Orbit Gum" commercial.

Beyond the walls of the NASCAR hauler, much like the "dirty mouth" ads, I imagine this dialogue taking place.

Gordon: Jimmie, you son of a biscuit-eating bulldog!
Johnson: What the French toast?!
Gordon: Look, you doo doo head cootie king, did you think you could hold me up on the track just because you are a four time champion?!
Johnson: Who are you calling a cootie king? You lint-licker!
Gordon: Pickle you kumquat!
Johnson: Jeff, you're overreacting!
Gordon: No, Jimmie, overreacting was when I put your Lowe’s Chevrolet into a wood chipper, Stinky McStinkface!

Artcle originally published 04/29/2010

NASCAR: What a Wide-Eyed Beast You Be, Just Don't Blink, You Could Miss It

On average we blink once every five seconds, 732 times an hour, 17,000 times each day, which adds up to an amazing 6.25 million times a year.

The blink of the human eye is about 0.33 seconds.

It is so apart of our lives, that rarely do we even think about it, but I am willing to bet that the 140,000 + sets of eyes in the grandstands of Talladega this past Sunday, and countless others glued to their televisions at home, made a conscious effort not to blink as Kevin Harvick made his now famous slingshot maneuver around Jamie McMurray to take the checkered flag.

Harvick beat McMurray by just 0.11 seconds.

While that win is most certainly one for the record books, look back to Darlington, Mar. 16, 2003 for the closest finish in NASCAR history, when Ricky Craven beat Kurt Busch by a mere .002 seconds.

The two drivers actually finished the last stretch of the race with their cars touching.

In NASCAR, a hundredth of a second can win a race.

With Richmond coming up this weekend, we are reminded that in Sep. of 2003, at that very track, 0.387 seconds marked the difference between the first and 36th positions.

Talk about your grid-locked traffic!

One of the reasons Danica Patrick says she is giving NASCAR a try is because of how much tighter the racing is.

Look at the stats. Can you blame her?

NASCAR’s average margin of victory in 2009 was 2.0 seconds, the IRL’s margin of victory was 3.58 seconds.

Yawn!

In 2003, Ryan Newman made history at Bristol Motor Speedway, with a Sprint Cup Series quaifying lap of 14.908 seconds (128.709 mph).

A simple 2.5 blinks of an eye.

Think of how upset we as fans get when we miss something on the track because of a routine blink or being distracted by your buddy knocking over your last can of hooch.

Get a piece of debris in your eye and you could easily miss several laps!

It is instinctual for humans to close their eyes tightly when we anticipate something displeasing.

Think of it in terms of watching a horror movie. That scary music cues up and you just know that something wicked is coming!

Your eyes squint, your hand is waiting in the wings to make the quick cover. You want to turn away, but you can't, because you might miss something.

Just like NASCAR, don't ever take your eyes off the screen or you are bound to miss something good!

Take a minute to appreciate the real eyes of the track, the spotters. They get paid NOT to blink!

Each week when a driver climbs into his car, he is fitted with his helmet and HANS device; then strapped into the driver's seat, which leaves him with a very limited view of the track.

It is up to a very trusted member of the driver’s team to “see” for them. Spotters must have a keen eye focused on their driver, but one that constantly roves the field, looking for the future “what ifs.”

The spotter can make or break a driver’s position, prevent or find themselves in the middle of the “big one” and ultimately win or lose a race.

The stress doesn't end with the checkered flag. Most spotters can't sleep after a big race. Their eyes are sore for days, worn out from hours of staring through binoculars and not blinking.

The idea of being at a NASCAR race in itself is somewhat surreal. It is a fantastic, almost dream like state, because what we are witnessing on the track is somewhat impalpable.

Categorically, it is unlike any other event.

It is fast and furious. It is danger and intrigue. It is beauty and perfection.

It is intangible, wide eyed glory, just don't blink!



"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Article originally published 04/26/2010

Heard It Through the Grapevine, Tony Stewart Wants to Meet You In Texas

Everybody knows that everything is bigger and bolder in Texas, so who better to host an appearance than larger-than-life personality Tony Stewart?

The driver of the No. 14 Office Depot/Old Spice Chevrolet will roll into Grapevine, Texas at 4:00 pm on Wednesday, April 14 to sign autographs for fans at the local Office Depot.

Want a chance to meet him and help celebrate his 400th career start in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series? Here's how!

Where: Office Depot, 1317 State Highway 114 West, Grapevine, TX, 76051

When: Wednesday, April 14, 2010, 4 pm local time

Why: Because you want to meet your favorite driver, that's why!

The No. 14 Office Depot will be on site for photo-ops and fans can try their hand at being Stewart for a day by taking a simulated spin around the track in the No. 14 race car simulator.

Please note that while this event will be open to the general public, only 700 wristbands will be distributed for autographs (one per person).

The wristbands may be obtained on a first-come, first-serve basis at the store beginning at 8:00 am local time.

Fans with a wristband must be in line no later than 5:00 pm to receive an autograph.

Saddle up early folks and get on down to the Office Depot before the stampede and wrangle yourself a visit with a real modern day cowboy.

This is a one day opportunity, so giddy up y'all and strike while the iron is hot.

Don't let Tony Stewart drive off into the sunset without showing him some genuine Texas hospitality!



Press release courtesy of MATTER/Edelman Sports and Entertainment and Office Depot.

Article originally published 04/13/2010

NASCAR's Tony Stewart and Ryan Newman: A Fine Bromance

In a tender moment following Ryan Newman’s victory at Phoenix on Saturday night, his first for Stewart-Haas Racing, owner and teammate Tony Stewart not only rushed to congratulate Newman, he professed his love on national television.

Newman was filled with emotion as he revealed the words exchanged between the two men, stating, “He’s so proud of me, told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back.”

Had it been a movie, this would have been the perfect ending to the ultimate buddy flick.

What we saw Saturday night was far more than respect between teammates, or the mentoring of a boss to protege.

Oh yes, something so much sweeter than any of that.

We were witness to the most intimate of male bonding, the start of a bona fide bromance!

Now before you go getting the wrong idea, a bromance is described as "a close, but non-sexual relationship between two heterosexual men."

A mutual man-crush if you will.

The idea of the bromance has been embraced in Hollywood for years.

Take Matt Damon and Ben Affleck for example, although they are both married to beautiful women, their relationship with each other is often described as "perhaps the pioneering bromance in showbiz history."

Geroge Clooney and Brad Pitt are another bromantic success story. Clooney admits to "being unlucky in love with the ladies," yet has "maintained his longest lasting affair" with bromantic partner Pitt."

Actors and close friends in real life, Zach Braff and Donald Faison play JD and Turk, two straight, male doctors of the TV show Scrubs. The character's mutual admiration for one another elicited a song explaining their "guy love" to a world that didn't quite understand.

"That's all it is guy love, he's mine I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes. Just let it grow more and more each day. It's like I've married my best friend... but totally in a manly way."

"It's guy love, between two guys. And when I say, "I love you, Turk,", It's not what it implies. It's guy love between two guys... no hands!"

Bromance is so in fashion, last year men dragged their best guy friend forever to the release of the preeminent male bonding movie, “I Love You, Man.”

The film, starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel, begged the question “Are you man enough to say it?”

Stewart and Newman proved Saturday night that they were men enough to say it in front of millions of adoring fans.

Heck, if guy-loving each other is wrong, they don't want to be right!

It's time to celebrate this budding bromance and see them as the serious power couple that they are. One that holds the promise of a long, prosperous future filled with championships and nothing but love!

I love you men!

Article originally published 04/12/2010

Join NASCAR's Tony Stewart and Office Depot in the Race to Beat Cancer

Cancer.

It is something that we hate to acknowledge, but yet it affects every one of us.

It knows no age, race, gender, or personality.

It doesn’t care if you are a good person or bad.

It won’t listen to your pleas to spare your family, friends, or even yourself from its evil clutches.

It hates our mothers, our fathers, sisters, brothers, our grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews.

It hates our friends.

It hates innocent children.

It hates you and it hates me.

Cancer hates us all equally, but equally we can make a difference for a cure.

Together we can beat it.

Office Depot and Tony Stewart have teamed up for 'The Race to Beat Cancer', but they can’t do it alone.
“NASCAR champion Tony Stewart would be the first to tell you: The final laps of a championship race are no time to hit the brakes. You need to move faster and work harder than ever. The fight against cancer is just the same: When lives are at stake, we must work with urgency and determination. There is no time to lose.”

Now through April 11, the Office Depot Foundation will match every donation made to City of Hope —one of the nation’s leading cancer research and treatment centers—dollar-for-dollar up to $100,000.

During this time, your donation to City of Hope, in conjunction with a generous matching grant from the Office Depot Foundation , will make your cancer-beating gift to City of Hope TWO TIMES as effective.

City of Hope’s primary mission is to close the gap between breakthrough research and effective, new treatment, and to do it more quickly, more aggressively, and more safely than anyone has before.

“When you give to City of Hope, you support one of the most advanced cancer hospitals in the nation; you advance the ideas of some of the top cancer researchers in the world; you build modern facilities equipped with the most sophisticated technologies available; you bring inspiration to our researchers and physicians; and you provide compassion, comfort and hope to patients here and everywhere.”

By combining a hospital with exceptional patient care and a state of the art on-site research facility along with a century-long history of integrating great science with compassionate, it is clear that City of Hope stands apart from other institutions.

So let cancer know that you’re not going to slow down! Team up with Tony Stewart in the race to beat cancer.

We’ve sadly witnessed too many of our loved ones succumb to this horrible disease, but now is the time for tears of joy when we hear one of the most beautiful words in the English language...remission.

So, please join NASCAR fans from all over the country and help to stop this horrible disease by donating whatever you can to this monumental cause.

I have...will you?

To learn more about this and other live saving efforts, please visit www.cityofhope.org

All quotes were graciously shared by Edelman, City of Hope, The Office Depot Foundation and Mr. Stewart himself.

Article originally published 04/02/2010